Now you're swimming for the shore

I am seriously so screwed for my End-Of-Years this time. Like seriously, majorly screwed! This is the only exams where i really don't give a crap about studying at all, which is totally horrible and i know it's wrong! I should be trying my best since is it the END of the year papers! I mean i would wanna get best grades before the school ends and stuffs but i just really have zero motivation to study! :(

I really don't know whether i really want the exam period to be over cause then i'll have to face the music. Bleh. Bad grades, parents nagging. Horrible. I guess i just have to face it since i chose not to study way before hand. I actually really wanted to study and do my awesomest best for this exam especially after getting my also horrible mid-year results. I feel so lousy now. :(

I know my parents are gonna be so disappointed with me. I bet i would be disappointed with myself! I guess that's what get for being so lazy. Hmm.. i just realized that i'm gonna be sec 4 soon, which is totally crappy. I'm so not prepared. I lack discipline and feel that i would do horribly for Os if this continues! >:(

I wanna get super awesome points for Os okay! I better do something about it.

So i guess i've screwed up end-of-years. I still have two and a half more papers! I'm really scared for my results, they sure are not gonna be a pretty sight!

On a happier note, i ate snickers! But it's not the original one, so it was kinda meh. Even chocolates aren't making me happy now! :( Plus i keep binging on food! Horrible horrible horrible terrible terrible terrible! Whatever, i don't really like chocolates anyway! >:(

My mind is so cropped up with things that i wanna do, get, enjoy and experience after the exams that i kinda forgot that's i'm still in the process of this nonsense!

Oh and i'm sleep-deprived. Every night i go to sleep at 2? and wake up at 4, just so i can study. But i guess it's a waste of time since nothing ever gets into my head! My memory is really horrible! I'm so angry and sad and disappointed. Hahaha but i'm not depressed! I'm still kinda happy with life. This is just the normal crappy teen problem crap that i have to face i guess.. hahah.. :(

I'm lucky to have awesome friends to cheer me up! :) Makes life so much easier and happier and cooler and wayyyy awesome.

Band is gonna resume soon. I think i'll be getting a new oboe tutor. I'll miss Liying :( I hope the new tutor is nice and friendly and stuffs..